mm. i love autumn. i do.

 i love listening to the leaves crackling beneath my feet and feasting on the terribly impressive display of color.

i spent september in the peaks of snow basin. my eyes saw the first leaf turn crimson.

i spent october walking through the valley of the dog park, treading on a carpet of bright leaves.

a few nights ago, as momma and i were walking through the dog park we saw one lone tree, holding on to all it's golden leaves. the surrounding trees were empty with no color to offer.

sometimes i feel like i am holding on to my leaves to the bitter end; showing off my color long after those around me have faded. the year i got engaged, my color never faded.

this year i am a barren, empty tree. my leaves were the first to fall and my color the first to fade. my branches were full of hope and green with life once, but the cold came too quickly and i am left with empty branches; hungry as i look at the harvest around me.

i crave a blanket of white snow to tuck me into winter's slumber, so i can rest and sleep and hope for spring; hope for budding, green, full branches.

i am grateful that the earth mourns. i am grateful for seasons of abundance and seasons of scarcity. seasons of loss and seasons of hope.

i love autumn.  

good

today is a good day.

the grass is green. the sun is shining. the breeze is whispering.

last night my main squeeze came home with beautiful spring flowers for me, after working another 10 hour day. how am i so lucky? after dinner he took me to see 1 day old baby lambies and then kissed me goodnight as he headed to play bball at 10 as i was heading to bed.  this guy doesn't stop. i love him. i love how hard he works and how much he makes me laugh. i get to play golf with this handsome dude tonight, and there is nothing i love more than to watch his smile after he crushes his drives 360 yards straight down the fairway.

i woke up to the news of my brand new baby nephew, born this morning. a healthy 9 lbs and 21 inches. chubby as can be. i can't wait to snuggle him and kiss those fat cheeks in a few more days. i love my family. period.

boss surprised me with a call around lunchtime saying he was coming over trappers loop. we went off to get lunch and farr's ice cream followed by a trip to sportsmans warehouse to get a buoy for jack and 270 clay pigeons. i love my dad. it seems appropriate that this new little baby be named after this wonderful guy.

we got to go to the cabin, just us, last weekend. we rode bikes down the red rock river valley, hauled pipe, ate fried green beans at slackers, rode horses and fished all in 24 hours. no one has more energy or fun than my dad. he is understated, generous, funny, good. i can't think of a better dad.

after that i jumped on my bike and rode all around my neighorhood. sun kissing my face, jack nipping at my heels. i love that dog. biking is only way now that i can release some of his good old fashioned lab energy. we rode down to silver lake and fetched with his new buoy. i need to bridle some of the energy and be as excited about life as he is.

speaking of jack, he has a new friend, JILL. i almost hit a lop-eared bunny a few nights ago and brought it home. she is the cutest and snuggliest little thing. jack sits in front of her cage and whines. it is so funny.

anyways, i am looking out my window at the mountains and green fields bowing to the breeze, overflowing with gratitude for my life, my family and my Lord. 

top ten

i am missing my family today, they are scattered all over instead of gathered in. maybe it is the youngest in me, but i always want my family close by.

always growing up, we would list our top ten of the year on new years. so i will proceed to do so:

1. getting married to darren! it has been a great year, with lots of growing. darren is very patient and i am blessed to have him as my life partner.
2. we bought a house-it is so fun to have our own place! hoping that a yard is on my list new year
3. we lost aunt robyn and grandpa moe this fall. i am learning a lot about the plan of salvation and the legacy of a life.
4. we added a new member to our family...our little canine jack who is equally cute as he is naughty.
5. we went a whole year without a tv AND we got one for christmas.
6. i left the family business (still missing boss and jamie) and started a new job that i am loving.
7. a new niece and a new nephew this year and two more nephews to come next year!
8. darren and i got to do pioneer trek together this year as a ma and pa-it was a great experience to do together.
9. darren got a new investor in his company that we are grateful for...and i don't see him as much anymore!
10. one of the best nights of the whole year was december 23 at boss and nanny's. we re-created the nativity, watched the girls open american girl dolls, ate crab and chowder, received heirloom guns and watches from grandpa moe and came into 2012 with ipads! i love my family.

thankful

thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. i love this time of year to reflect on what blessings i have been afforded.

i have SO MANY THINGS to be thankful for. but i am especially grateful this year for one mr darren mower.

i found out last night from his dad that for the past 7 years, he has kept cash on him through out the season to give to those he came in contact with that could use help. my heart literally burst as i was told of my husbands goodness. who is this man i married? how did i marry so far above me?

my favorite thing about all this-he has never told anyone! he was with his dad one christmas eve running last minute errands-darren snuck away while his dad was finishing up with a purchase and happened upon his generosity.

i learn things about darren every day that i love. but today i love his huge heart and that he is mine.

blessed.

tender, tender weekend. i do not know how to express my admiration and love for my curtis family. a few weeks ago the day before and of my grandpa's funeral, it was my curtis family who came and washed windows, cleaned chairs, clean our yard, and offer support as we hosted a dinner at my mom's after the funeral. there is not a better bunch of people than this family.

i am grateful today for many things. especially the legacy of aunt robyn. a woman of character and faith.

all morning i have been thinking of a story told about aunt robyn at her funeral: her daughter came home from school crying, boys had followed her home and thrown rocks at her. robyn bandaged her up, found chocolate suckers and took her daughter down the street to offer treats to these boys. robyn taught and LIVED to give better than received. i want this legacy and know i can do better.

speaking of receiving better than giving, my sweet husband-who made it possible for me to travel to denver by taking my clients, arranging showings with other clients, tending my dog and helping me to get out the door-had 2 dozen, GORGEOUS, fragrant red roses waiting on our kitchen counter when i walked in the door.

i am blessed.

day date

remember on "just friends" how a day date is a bad thing? not in my life!

since my sweet husband is rarely home due to his amazing work schedule/ethic, and since when he could be home he chooses to golf occasionally (ALWAYS, sore subject-we had plans saturday and they were canceled since a chance to golf came up), we made a date to go 4 wheeling tonight. but... this morning after he got up and showered and ready for work he realized he had a work thing tonight so...

we decided to go back to bed and sleep in. woke up again, ate cereal, loaded our pup and 4 wheeler into the truck and headed into the fall morgan mountains. this is something each individual must do at some point because the trees and leafs are spectacular, the smells are invigorating and i cant speak for anyone else, but for me the company is unbeatable.


side note: jack mower, our new puppy-don't confuse him with jack bauer, HATES the 4wheeler and runs from it even after he got a joy ride before he got left at nana's.

colors

i am feeling very grateful today, and nostalgic. perhaps it is saying goodbye to my grandpa moe this weekend or the change in seasons or reality that i am growing up (mostly).

i drove home yesterday listening to some good old james taylor and my mind raced. suddenly i was in the suburban, the smell of my old dog torrey was perfuming the air, meg had her head out the window trying to ease her motion sickness. i was riding in my "special spot" aka: the top of the luggage in the VERY back of the burban.

we were on our way to the cabin or jackson lake or powell. without fail bob dylan, john denver and james taylor serenaded the majority of our trip. simon and garfunkel usually came too.

grace was playing her car games which meant my dad ALWAYS won. i had been told no less than a dozen times to NOT ask again how much longer. mom was calling out every so often "GLORY CHILDREN!" at whatever mountain or sunset or field we came across. boss was coaching jamie on driving. ten and two. checking the mirrors?

somehow these memories carry me in times of trouble. thinking of our little family, all compact in that car, occasionally fighting but usually laughing. all together. now we are spread out, further and further. we arent that little family anymore, now we all have our own families and memories to make. but part of me wants to go back and crawl into the back of the burb and savor those times again.

grandpa moe was a great man. his life was filled with adventure. he skied, piloted his own small plane, painted, fished, traveled to Australia, Africa, Europe, Mexico. he was always smiling and usually had an off color joke to share. he saw life as a glass all the way full. i have loved knowing him and loving him through my life.

in jackson he always, without fail, took us to see the buffalo. he took us painting, to get pizza at leeks, and was generous to take us out for ice cream and treats. he was a tease. he was funny.

i feel grateful for his vibrant and colorful life as i sit at my counter and watch the color slowly drain out of the earth, preparing for winter.