the hubs

yesterday was a dark day; literally and metaphorically. it hailed. i was pulled over. so was darren. different reasons. different times. different police officers. school projects due, tests to be studied for, offices to move, tests to take, dinner to make, papers to write and jobs to look for. my Philly cheese steak came out soggy and i filled up my tank for the fourth time in 5 days. AND my favorite idol was voted off (at least i still have scotty).

i know i have a good life, i do. i am blessed beyond measure. but what can i say? yesterday was the last straw. life, my good life, overwhelmed me.

this is a testament to how good i really do have it...darren walked into our kitchen late last night as he got home with these:


exhibits a-c: my favorite licorice [my own personal heroine (little shout out to edward and bella)], a large and beautiful diet coke and gorgeous spring flowers. what a guy!! darren is amazing for a million and one reasons... but the best reason today is not only that he brightens up my day, but that he helps me to seek light.

momma

rough week. finals. moving. papers. spending more time with my car than my hubs. most of all...rain, rain, rain. last night it hailed and woke me up. really weather? don't you know i need my vitamin d?!

well, i was worn a little thin today. momma saw me and first thing she did was hug me--her hugs are the best thing ever-worries melt away, concerns take flight and i feel good. then she said to hop in her car cause i needed some spring.

my mom is spring. she is happy, beautiful and fun. she is substantive. she fills me with energy. she is the crisp air kissing my face. she is the first green grass. momma is the bright daffodils lining my path home, that keep me hoping for warmer days.

ignorance is bliss

i already have a hard time sleeping at night, but apparently i wanted to make it as hard as possible on myself...

i was listening to ksl talk radio today and they mentioned a new app that has a current updated list of sex offenders so i thought i would check it out while waiting for my eyebrows to be waxed! why can't i just read magazines like normal people?

anyways, i have sealed my fate to never sleep again. thanks technology. and offenders.

LIFE

after viewing so much sadness and grief from different loved ones this past week; and feeling a renewed dedication to actually experiencing life instead of watching from the sidelines, i am dedicating this post to LIFE.

"achieving life is not the equivalent of avoiding death"

spring is always my favorite time of year, probably because winter is hard for me. i love seeing green grass creep in and bulbs fighting their way through spring snow showers. i love witnessing the transformation of a dreary and empty world to a world full of blossoms and blooms and NEW LIFE. we sleep with our window open and i love waking to the sound of bird calls.

it is amazing to me how i sometimes resign. i go through the actions and through the day, but not with any gusto or real purpose. i vow to not let this happen again. i attended a viewing this week and displayed were all the interested of this man...his climbing gear, his ski boots, his photography, notes to his wife. it was nothing short of inspiring (despite the horrible circumstances) to see and witness the accomplishments of this man which were so tangible.

it made me wonder what i had to show. i could not think of much. hence, this post and new motivation inside me to live.

i spent the weekend with a pinched nerve at the cabin. it was miserable because i couldnt look left at all and had limited range of motion on my right. this made me realize that i have been living with a kinked neck and pinched nerve! i have limited my views, without realizing it. but now i am moving forward with no limits and a full perspective as i pursue life.

this week also opened my eyes to all i take for granted...especially my sweet husband. we are a woman and man and far from perfect! but he is so sweet to me. he works so hard for our family and often late into the evening. he surprised me last week with a gorgeous SPRING bouquet because he knew the snow was getting me down. he brings me home diet coke's when he knows i have had a long day and rubs my feet (this is truly amazing because the man HATES feet) and he spent the weekend massaging my neck and back, bringing my hot pads and making me comfortable. i am so lucky to have him as my companion. i love our family night prayers and the texts i get from him through out the day just checking in. he is supportive of all my crazy ideas and pursuits and he loves me despite all my oddities. i am lucky.

today is the day i make all my tomorrow's happen...and take the step from reserved and resigned to LIVING.